What’s the matter C??

Wednesday. OR in the morning and lunch afterwards. Dr KB was there. I asked if I may sit with her and she responded “Of course”. I think these people don’t know how much each smile, each greeting, each “C, come here” mean to me. They’re all part of my integration here in Germany. I really appreciate it… they are all so nice or at least polite to me… The CÄ and OA HA came afterwards. We all ate together. I was having lunch with the CÄ!! Me. Wow… thank you… It really means a lot…

I need to be honest to you guys. I’m writing this on Saturday. I dwelled on it for long… Should I stop writing this blog? Should I just take a break from it? I had… some issues. I believe my Hospitation here has come to an end. No, I did not hurt any patient whatsoever. However I cannot and may not discuss it. If you’re gonna say “Then I will no longer read this” – I can totally get it.

But what I can describe is how I feel about it. And how Certa is handling it. I am overwhelmed, sad and disappointed. I keep considering the idea that perhaps I was not meant to come to Germany. I am scared, I am tired, still I cannot sleep…

Certa is here, as always – to provide support. They’re looking for solutions. You know, I guess not everything always goes the way one expects it. And I guess that’s why I keep writing this blog. Truth. What’s the answer to this problem? One of my VIPs said I should just take a break. Nope. Challenge accepted – for me and for Certa. I will prove it once more – Certa is good – even when the unexpected happens and one has to deal with it. Also I find that writing helps. I get to organize my thoughts. And I have to go on. For me, for my VIPs, for Certa, for you and for Germany. I think, if it were easy, then success wouldn’t be so sweet. I have to pull myself together.

In the meantime… I went to Lübeck… really lovely city, but a bit too crowded, I’d say. The Christmas Markets were still there… hmm… uncool. It’s almost February… :-/

And on Friday I went to Poel Island… A bit foggy, but quiet and beautiful.

Saturday… study and FOOD! Hihi.

I do 🙂